Eight

Asleep with hardly a murmur.

One of the challenges of being a first time mother to a four month old is to get out and about and forge new relationships with other local new mums.

I live in a booming family orientated suburb which is seriously at times pram central. Now when I say pram central I truly mean it. My inner petrol head has on many occasions zoomed in and out of pram traffic so well it would make Michael Schumacher shiver in his Ferrari. Or should that be Mercedes now? Benetton? No, that was so 1991...

Anyway, if he is ever on my side of town he may as well just pack on up and go home. Nobody beats my Mountain Buggy.

It started several months ago with facilitated mothers group sessions. Or should I say 'first time parents group' because Dad's stay at home too! Yes, that's much more inclusive.

The nature of these sessions is probably another blog for another day. They were interesting to say the least but on a positive note, it has allowed me to make one very good new friend.

With the formal sessions now completed, our group of new parents now meet once or twice weekly at the local library for a play group session titled 'Baby Time'.

My dear husband has referred to it as a cult..which is perhaps a little harsh. Cults can be misunderstood after all.

Due to popularity, these Baby Time sessions aren't advertised, so perhaps 'Secret Society' is more appropriate.

I'll cut to the chase. Our Secret Society is a 25 minute song and rhyme session hosted by an eccentric orange haired women (our leader), with musical instruments hanging off her wrists, arms, legs, nose – oh sorry that would be a piercing. Plus there's a talking frog.

Hang on, let me repeat that. There's a talking frog. *gasp*

Mothers (Secret Society members) from around our over-bred suburb gather and literally overtake what was a peaceful sanctuary for the local book worm or VCE student cramming for mid year exams. Sorry about that.

The format is simple – pop your baby on the floor (own blanket and burp cloth essential), follow the leaders guide, throw baby up in the air when prompted (don't forget to catch them), clean the projectile vomit off wherever it should land (whoops, sorry, they weren't new shoes were they?), laugh, sing, tickle and sarcastically ask dear friend "is this sh*t over yet?" through smiling gritted teeth.

Then manage the overtired cries upon conclusion and rock the little master off to sleep to the sounds of the talking frog muttering in the background.

On the upside, the kids love it. Vomit and all. It's great for their development and a fun way for them to begin socialising with others. And what better way to introduce yourself to a potential new friend with this opening line – "Oh hi there, I'm AP. Let me clean that spew off your back. Come here often?"

Plus we all want to be members of a Secret Society, don't we? Especially one with a talking frog.

Asleep. Still. Bliss.